When Frustration Got the Best of Me

I just wanted to wash him a little bit, brush his teeth and get him ready for bed. It was a really long day of chasing Matthew with no nap time. I was feeling crappy, haven’t showered for days, my hips were hurting and my head was heavy with stuffy nose. And all he still wanted to do was to jump and down the bed, run around and make me chase him. He is in his most playful mood. While I wasn’t in the chasing mood!

I used my scariest voice, scariest face and even spanking him just to get him to settle down and listen and just do what I want – which was to get in the bathroom, stand still at the tub so I can wash him. But nothing I did worked. I was really frustrated. It seemed that he is even enjoying my frustration as part of his game, as he made me chase him again. He laughed everytime I wouldn’t catch him.

As I have managed to get a hold of him, literally dragging him to the bathroom, I was out of breath by his struggling to get off my tight hold. I was able to wash him but not too easily. The next task was to brush his teeth, but as soon as he was able to get off the tub, he ran off like he was happy to have escaped. He ran off towards the door and started slamming the door.

I just heard a ringing in my head at the slamming of the door. I told him to stop but he continued to do so. I was afraid he was going to place his other hand at the slamming door like he did earlier that day, so as soon as the door closed I locked the door. I was inside the bathroom by myself, while he was outside, yelling out ‘Mommy!’

I didn’t open the door. I was pacing myself, just hiding inside the bathroom. I was just so tired, that I started crying. I heard hubby’s voice from the outside then he opened the door. Somehow, him seeing me crying like that made my feel even worse, that I cried even more. I just wanted to brush his teeth and him ready for bed, so when he’s fallen asleep I can take a shower and hopefully feel better, but Matthew wasn’t cooperating and i was feeling really frustrated.

The rest of the night was easier with hubby’s presence but I couldn’t help my tears from falling down as I was brushing his teeth and putting his jammies on, while his lips were curled down like he was about to cry but preventing himself to cry. To his innocent mind he was only playing and having fun, but at that time, my poor baby was scared and absorbing my negative feelings.

Then hubby took him to his office, made him sit in the corner and not letting him play for slamming the door and not listening to mommy. I brought him his milk, then he dozed off while drinking his milk. Then he was off to bed, finally.

This happened a week ago. I was definitely not at my best as a mother. Frustration got the best of me. I had to cry.