My father was born March 10, 1949. If he lived, he’d be 61-years old, retired from the Philippine Army, a grandpa, and cooking his favorite Papaitan as pulutan (appetizer) for his birthday drinking party. He died prematurely in 1991 at the age of 41 on my mother’s birthday and their wedding anniversary. When he left us, my mother was in her early 30’s. I was 13-years old then, my sister was 11-years old, and my bother JC was a 9-month old baby. He was ‘Papang‘ to us, and ‘Papa Charlie‘ to everyone else.

I have once written about the day my father died. Today on his birthday, my sister, Jessica, writes about how he lived.

My Father on his early 20's

Pang

by Jessica

I may have several men in my life, but few that stayed in my heart even when they were gone. It’s my father’s birthday today, and although he passed away a long time ago, his memories linger in the present.

My father was a simple man. Simple but firm. He left us with too many good memories that even with my young age, i already treasured. My father was one of the few good men I have known in my life. Not even once have I experience any verbal nor physical abuse from him. He might have been a tough soldier back then, but when it comes to his family, he was so gentle and protective. He was very proud of me and my sister. I remember when he and his friends were drinking, he would let me sing in front of his friends and tell them how good my voice was(hehe, this is the reason why i always believed i have a beautiful voice even if nobody agrees). I always sang “The Greatest Love of All”. I memorized it. My father was very good in drawing and math. He always took the time to sit with us and teach us everything he knows and helped us in our assignments. My father, just like my mother is very good in advicing us in how we should see life. He would tell us that we should respect other people so other people will respect us too. He was also keen on discipline. Every morning at 7, he would jog just to make sure he stays fit. Every sunday, we go to mass and visit “Fort Pilar” (a place in Zamboanga for Catholics to worship Virgin Mary). When we go to this place, he made sure that he gave coins to the beggars lined up inside the worship place.

My Father on his early 20's

If there was one legacy that my father left with us, it was his thoughs in education. We were poor. My father was a soldier. My mother was a housewife. Although this was the case, my father sent us to the best school there was in our place. He always told us that we might be poor and he might not have any material thing that he can leave us when he dies, but he would be able to leave us the best education and we can carry that even to our grave.

When he died I was 11, my sister 13 and my brother just a few months old, I had that legacy engraved in my heart. I am thankful for the wisdom he left us. My sister and I were scholars in high school and college. We maybe struggling then, but because of hard work and my father’s legacy and my mother’s fighting spirit(which I am also thankful for), we were able to graduate with flying colors. My sister worked as a programmer for a while and now married and happy. I, after a couple of years of trying to find a job that will suit me, is for now content working in a TeleComs company. My brother is already in college and hopefully he would also find what he really wants in life.

To my father, although we have not spent too many years together, I still feel your presence. I will not be who I am today if not for the things that you have taught us. They may not be material things. They are greater! And no one can take those away from us. It is in my heart and in my soul. I love you Pang!

Related Article:

• It was a bleak, hot Monday morning

Soon there will be four, but right there’s three men in my life.

Hubby and Me. Photo taken on December 26, 2009

My loving hubby, Michael. He is more than I could ever ask for in a man, a husband, a father to our kids! I’m so glad I married him. While I was trying to find a recent picture of us together, I realized that we don’t take pictures of us as much anymore.

Matthew's Star Wars Tent. Thanks to Grandma for this fabulous Star Wars Tent.

Matthew, my little man. So adorable, with the sweetest smile. At 3-years-old, he has managed to melt my heart and drive me insane at the same time. No matter how old he gets, he’ll always be my baby.

This is me and my brother JC, on his way to the Senior's Ball. Photo taken on 2007 March 25.

The other man I’ve not written about so far is my baby brother, JC. But he is not a baby anymore. The last time I saw him was during my vacation in the Philippines in 2007. He was graduating high school then. He is pursuing college now.

We are a generation apart in age, 12-years age gap. When he was so young at a toddler age, it’s so funny that we, his big sisters and big cousins, would call him Kuya, which means older brother. I think he carried being called ‘big brother‘ very well. He grew up not getting in too much trouble, especially as a teenager. He grew up to be very observant but you’ll have to guess what goes on in his mind because he is not so outspoken, not too expressive.

He was in pre-school when I left home for college. As a big sister, I regret that I didn’t see him grow up. So I don’t know how much a positive influence I am for him. But he’ll always be my Kuya! I always love him and hope great things for him.

I just wanted to wash him a little bit, brush his teeth and get him ready for bed. It was a really long day of chasing Matthew with no nap time. I was feeling crappy, haven’t showered for days, my hips were hurting and my head was heavy with stuffy nose. And all he still wanted to do was to jump and down the bed, run around and make me chase him. He is in his most playful mood. While I wasn’t in the chasing mood!

I used my scariest voice, scariest face and even spanking him just to get him to settle down and listen and just do what I want – which was to get in the bathroom, stand still at the tub so I can wash him. But nothing I did worked. I was really frustrated. It seemed that he is even enjoying my frustration as part of his game, as he made me chase him again. He laughed everytime I wouldn’t catch him.

As I have managed to get a hold of him, literally dragging him to the bathroom, I was out of breath by his struggling to get off my tight hold. I was able to wash him but not too easily. The next task was to brush his teeth, but as soon as he was able to get off the tub, he ran off like he was happy to have escaped. He ran off towards the door and started slamming the door.

I just heard a ringing in my head at the slamming of the door. I told him to stop but he continued to do so. I was afraid he was going to place his other hand at the slamming door like he did earlier that day, so as soon as the door closed I locked the door. I was inside the bathroom by myself, while he was outside, yelling out ‘Mommy!’

I didn’t open the door. I was pacing myself, just hiding inside the bathroom. I was just so tired, that I started crying. I heard hubby’s voice from the outside then he opened the door. Somehow, him seeing me crying like that made my feel even worse, that I cried even more. I just wanted to brush his teeth and him ready for bed, so when he’s fallen asleep I can take a shower and hopefully feel better, but Matthew wasn’t cooperating and i was feeling really frustrated.

The rest of the night was easier with hubby’s presence but I couldn’t help my tears from falling down as I was brushing his teeth and putting his jammies on, while his lips were curled down like he was about to cry but preventing himself to cry. To his innocent mind he was only playing and having fun, but at that time, my poor baby was scared and absorbing my negative feelings.

Then hubby took him to his office, made him sit in the corner and not letting him play for slamming the door and not listening to mommy. I brought him his milk, then he dozed off while drinking his milk. Then he was off to bed, finally.

This happened a week ago. I was definitely not at my best as a mother. Frustration got the best of me. I had to cry.

2009 had come and gone! What a wonderful year it has been. And now another year has began.

We didn’t do much to welcome the year. We just stayed home, had homecook meals and watched DVDs. But hubby did a lot of organizing since we came back from Florida. He organized Matthew’s toys and our stuffs at the garage. Matthew’s toys took much of our space that it felt good to reclaim some space after hubby got rid of the broken toys and set aside those he does not play with anymore. He also organized some of the baby stuffs that we still had and got them ready for the baby. I joked around that he is nesting! What I did was get out of his way. I know I wouldn’t be much help because I will hinder him from throwing away stuffs and I will slow him down. I had a few cleaning done. It’s great that we had a few organizing and general cleaning done before the new year started!

As for our plans, goals and resolutions this year,… Well, I am not the kind who makes new year’s resolutions, nor the kind who complies to the resolutions I make. But I make plans and goals and hope for the best.

This year, I can’t really make any travel plans with a baby on the way. But I plan to have more practice hours on the road driving, if only hubby will let me drive. I can already see him smirking and hear him say “Yeah right! Good luck with that!” But with a baby on the way will make it two babies in tow, I don’t know how much enthusiasm I will have to go out anyway, much less to drive.

For Matthew, I hope that early this year, or at most before the baby is born, he will be weaned from the milk bottle. Yes! The secret is out. At 3-years old, Matthew still drinks milk from the bottle. It’s the first thing he does in the morning and last thing he does before going to bed. It took me a long time to wean him from breastfeeding. And I had been trying to wean him from the milk bottle since the start of last year but I hadn’t been very consistent. I hope I’d be more consistent this year especially since another baby is coming along.

I also plan on helping him learn personal hygiene – have him get used to the toothpaste and brushing his teeth on a regular basis; and get him put on his clothes by himself. We’ve started encouraging him to do them by himself by saying his a big boy now, his a big brother now, etc… but he’s really not there yet!

I plan on getting Matthew involved in some preschool activities this year with other kids his age. I hope there will be a lot of opportunities for that. I know he is going to like that!

As for hubby, I hope he gets a more rest from work, regain the once a month weekend-off or more, and that his work will continue to be smooth sailing.

As for myself, I hope to be more prepared emotionally and physically for our second baby. I hope I can get everything and everyone prepared, too, including the rest of the family. I mean, we are all excited, but we should be also be prepared, right?

Oh, and I also plan, err hope, on winning the lottery (if only that is something we can plan) so that we can own a adequate-sized lakeside house in the suburb, a boat for hubby; and so that we can help family and friends who are financially struggling, and just concentrate on raising a family.

Friends,

I hope and pray for a great and prosperous 2010! Let 2010 be a celebration of life and love for each and everyone of us and our loved ones!

From Life’s a Charm! Family

Daddy and Matthew on Daddy's Golf Cart, Photo taken on July 14, 2009

It’s hubby’s 2nd year as a tactical officer at a military school in Alabama. He considers this school year relatively easier than last year. He thinks that the cadets are better behaved and they are more active with school activities. But this means that—although cadets get into less trouble, they are busier! And busy cadets mean busier tactical officers! He is surely happy that he got himself a new golf cart last summer. With busier cadets and with a golf cart, it became easier for him to go around the campus.

As for me, I planned to take a vacation this year to the Philippines but that didn’t happened. I got myself a learner’s permit to drive, but hubby is so hesitant. (This is a long story to go into details!) Anyway, he said, I will have to find someone else to drive with me because my driving scared him.

My blog however has expanded to include 2 subsites – the ‘All Things Bloggy’ site for contest and giveaways and the ‘Charm! Designs’ for my custom web design business. ‘All Things Bloggy’ site has now has more the 170 subscribers. It caters giveaway enthusiasts like myself and giveaway host for listing the contest in their sites. As for ‘Charm! Designs’, although I have not officially launched yet, I have already created a few templates for wordpress and blogger, and there are a couple of blog sites that I have designed.

What I am so happy about this year is Matthew’s progress. He turned 3 years old on August 14. We had a modest celebration, just the three of us and he is more than happy with the Transformer toys he got. I have always thought that it has been the peak of his toddlerhood as his vocabulary and skills increased. Matthew has learned to operate and ride this John Deere tractor toy. He has learned to sing and most importantly he is now potty trained! But it is not to say that it has not been hard—taking care of a toddler, because it is hard! But every little rhyme he sings, every successful trip to the potty, every new word he learns, every little conversation he makes himself, every little kiss and show of affection—all makes Michael and me proud parents and makes up for the hardships and the tantrums and the pouting he throw.

Matthew at Gatorland, Orlando FL, Photo taken 2009 June 2

As for the family, early this year hubby’s Grandma Maxine passed away. We braved the winter cold to go to her funeral in Michigan. On a happier note, holidays and school breaks seems to be associated to Florida. At summer break, we went fishing on Grandpa’s new boat and visited Gatorland in Orlando. On thanksgiving, we spent it with them as well as Christmas. As for the New Year’s Eve, we will be spending it home in Sweet Home Alabama for a well deserved rest.

As for my family in the Philippines, my mother and brother in my hometown Zamboanga City are doing great! My mother is still looking for a boyfriend (as far as I know). My brother has a few challenges with his college education but he got them sorted out now. My sister, who’s working in Makati experienced the big flood last November, that she was stranded in her office for a few days. Her apartment was flooded and damaged a few of her belongings. But other than that, she’s been well and back on her track again. I miss them terribly!

The biggest and the most exciting news about this year is that—just a few days before Matthew’s birthday, we found out that we are expecting our second baby. He is due on April! It has been confirmed over and over that, it’s another trooper—it is going to be another boy! There had been a few concerns during the 20th Week Fetal Anatomy Checkup but during the follow up targeted ultrasound, we are relieved to find out from the doctor that the concerns are gone.

Christmas Morning

Matthew with Mommy and Daddy, Christmas Morning

Crazy Tongue, Matthew with Daddy and Grandpa, Christmas Party

Family and Friends, Christmas Party

As most of you have probably suspected, we celebrated Christmas with the in-laws in Florida! We were in Florida for a week.

On the days leading to Christmas Day, we have to tell Matthew how many days until it’s Christmas Day. It’s the day he can open the presents. Every morning, as he wakes up, he’ll tell us “It’s Christmas Day!” but then again, we’ll tell him not yet.

The wrapped presents that were already by the tree has gone through Matthew’s thorough inspection. It’s so funny how the biggest one has the sides of the sticker tag lifted from his little fingers tinkering on it; and some little torn and scratches are so obvious. Over and over we have to tell him that those presents are not for him when he is over by the tree but he has tried everything he could possibly can to try to open them, from hiding behind the curtains and grabbing the presents to just crying over it. But I am proud to say that he has not opened any of them without our permission,… or well, he is always caught before he could even make a move.

On Christmas Day, Santa was good to him. An overload of toys happened for him! He just couldn’t get enough of unwrapping, and getting amazed He just couldn’t settle down the whole day just playing those toys alternately. The few clothes and books he received were appreciated more by me than him. But this is how it has always been. It’s so funny too how he loses interest after seeing it’s not a toy in the gifts. A few times, we let him help us unwrap some of the presents that weren’t for him. As soon as he sees that they are not toys, he turns around and moves on. However if they are toys you could literally see the sparkle in his eyes and he would tell you about it over and over. He actually played with all the new toys the whole day. He couldn’t get enough of them.

Santa was also good to me this year. As I was unwrapping the present hubby got for me, I was so curious because I wasn’t expecting a gift from him. I finalized what I wanted for Christmas which was a HD video camera. Hubby wanted to get the bigger capacity kind (costly) so we resolved to get one for my birthday as a Christmas/birthday gift, since anyway I wanted to use it for when the baby comes on April. So I was unwrapping this gift from hubby and I was so shocked to disbelief that it’s a HP laptop! I was almost going to cry, but I managed to hold it. I was just so speechless!

Early on, while deciding what I wanted for Christmas, I was conflicted between a netbook or HD video camera. While looking at the netbooks and seeing that they don’t have the specs I wanted – they are just slower than the desktop PC I’m used to, I was discouraged. So I decided on the HD video camera which will be more useful when the baby comes. But then hubby figured that he’ll get me a laptop instead with the specs that matches the specs of our desktop PC in a size of a netbook. And it’s perfect! So all those time, hubby was just misleading me, having conversations that we are going to get a HD Video Camera on my birthday. Deep inside, he knows that I really did wanted a small laptop I can take to bed and blog with at late night, and that’s what he got for me!

As happy and overwhelmed as I am, in times like this, I am also sad that I didn’t manage to get him anything nice or surprising! It is always hard to match him. I hope my day will come, when I will surprise him, make him happy and overwhelmed him as he manages to make me feel over and over each time.

Compliments of the inlaws and friends, we also received a digital frame, bottles of perfume, bag, towels, wrist watch for hubby and lots and lots of nice stuffs! Compliments of my mother-in-law, we had a great Christmas meal shared by family and friends. It was a wonderful Christmas, however I wished I had taken more photos!

This is a re-post first published on Dec 21, 2007 @ 17:44.

Do you think you have a different or extra-nice behavior at Christmas time? What extra-nice gesture do you do?

People should be nice all year round, but it is at Christmas time that people seems extra-nice. It’s probably the Christmas spirit in the air, the cheerful decorations and the bright lights that gives us the warm feeliing and makes us smile; the anticipation for togetherness for families and thought from gift giving. And for the Christian faithfuls, Christmas is the reminder that God has manifested His love for us though the birth of His Son, Jesus Christ. And what better way to acknowledge this but by being extra-nice! For some people though, for these same reasons, they become cranky, sad, stressed and anti-nice!

I have seen my own relatives extend ‘forgiveness‘ at Christmas time. I grew up among relatives and I have witnessed so much ‘drama’ among them(us), but come Christmas time and they start talking again from months long of not talking, ignoring and avoiding each other.

As for me, Christmas time is when I try to reclaim friendships, and try to make more friends or become more friendly (I am polite, courteous but not specifically friendly!) Also, it is when I am most outgoing, happy and excited!

Added 14:23 Dec18,2009:

I found my friend Lori’s answer funny! I just had to add her answer, which she posted in Facebook:

Not so extra nice ~ maybe extra ANNOYING! lol I luv anything Christmas cheery… Cookies… decorating… taking holiday photos?!!! It’s just a great way to build up to the big day! – by Lori

Aloha Friday originated in Kailani’s An Island Life. If you would like to join in the fun, simply answer the question as a comment then visit Kailani’s An Island Life for more details. However, your answer and comments are welcome even if you do not want to participate.

Bro-IL Tom, Matthew, Hubby Michael and Mom-IL SallyPhoto taken on Oct 18, 2008

It’s always nice to have family come over to visit. Tom, who has relocated from Hawaii to Florida, and Mom-IL took the 8-hour trip from Florida to Alabama to spend the weekend with us. I’m glad they did ’cause I sure had fun having their company. A little change in our weekend routine and a lot of gushing of love over Matthew by Grandma and Uncle Tom are always welcome.

Related Post:

• Day 2 in Hawaii: Beach Bumming

Beach Bumming Waikiki Beach Resort

Tom, Matthew and Michael

Matthew with Elmo Kalakaua Avenue, Waikiki

This is the second in the series of our Days in Hawaii. All photos are taken on June 9, 2008. Click photo to enlarge the photo. Click here to view more photos

Days in Hawaii:

• Day 6 in Hawaii, Aloha means Goodbye
• Day 5 in Hawaii, Pearl Harbor and Beach Bumming, Part 2
• Day 4 in Hawaii, Pearl Harbor, Part 1
• Day 3 in Hawaii, Polynesian Cultural Center
• Day 2 in Hawaii, Beach Bumming
• Day 1 In Hawaii, Jetlag and Waikiki Beach

The day started late. The night before was rough! Having slept the whole day of Day1 meant up and about in the middle of the night! We were wide awake by 1am and we just couldn’t put ourselves back to sleep. We finally doze off by 4am and woke up early lunch time on Day2.

Brunch at the Oceanarium Restaurant, which is right by the hotel at the oceanarium was a delight. We were upclose to the fishes and the stingrays.

As planned, we went beach bumming at Waikiki Beach Resort just across the hotel! It’s Matthew’s first time to salty waters! He wasn’t happy about it! At first he wouldn’t even let his feet touch the sand. Oh, it was so rough! His grip was so tight. He just wouldn’t let us put him down the sand or the waters. And somehow the waves as it rushes through the shores scares him a lot. To say the least, going to the waters just made him cry a lot. At the later part, we showed him how to play with the sand, which he enjoyed so much.

It’s also the day that we were going to meet hubby’s younger brother Tom. It had been 20 years since they last saw each other. Soon after hubby had joined the Army and Tom had gone to college and as they went thru their own lives, their schedule just wouldn’t let them meet until now. For them, it was time for catching up, reminiscing, and getting to know each other again. For me and Matthew, Tom is the first family from hubby’s side we’re so happy to have met. All this over seafood buffet dinner at the Oceanarium Restaurant. 

Later that night, we strolled along Kalakaua Avenue. Kalakaua Avenue is filled with so many shops, beautiful structures and statues and so many tourists. It was so much fun witnessing so many street performers – from jamaican singing beach songs in hawaiian music and insruments, caricatures and tattoo artists to mimes and mascots.

Top Photo: Matthew and Grandma, Taken on April 11, 2007
Bottom Photo: Mama and Me, March 30, 2004

Get to know Mama:

• 8 Random Things About My Mother
• It Was A Bleak Cold Monday Morning

A musical treat, Mama’s favorite song - We’re All Alone by Rita Coolidge .

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGC29fn8JFU] 

To all the mother’s in my life, mom-blogger,
all my friends who are moms themselves, and those who wants to be moms,

Happy Mother’s Day to us all!