I’m a little bit nostalgic that Fall will start in a few weeks. Such a wonderful Summer we had.

We’ve gone to Delaware for hubby’s niece’s graduation party. Then we stayed home for quality family time. Then we went to Florida for quality time with my in-laws. While in Florida, we attended Hubby’s High School Reunion. Then we came back to Alabama and moved to another house, still rent-and-utilities free inside the military campus where hubby works. Not to mention Baby Mark’s Christening and Matthew’s 4th Birthday. Then the next thing we know, summer break is over!

I’m a little bit sad that some of our plans did not push through. We didn’t go to Disney World as we have previously planned. We’ve also missed a get-together with a friend before her deployment in the Middle East because of schedule conflicts. Sigh! But then there is always next time.

I am so happy with our move to a bigger house. I especially like the bigger space and Matthew’s playroom the most. This time whenever I clean the house, it actually stays clean for a longer time, since Matthew and his mess stays in the playroom and not everywhere else. Too bad hubby didn’t enjoy much of the house since by the time we were settling in, he had to be back to work.

The school campus now has a few cadets already. In a couple or more days, more cadets will be excited or not coming back to school. I can only hope that they will especially be good to hubby, and not give him extra stress this school year. But, I know, as hubby keeps telling me, in the reality of a military school, there is always at least one defiant cadet.

I’m looking forward to going back to our routine and a calm cool Fall!

Brothers: Baby Mark and Matthew

ON MATTHEW …

• “Surprise!”

When we were in Delaware, every morning when Matthew wakes up, it delights everyone that Matthew would yell out “Surprise!” rather than “Good Morning!” coming out of the room.

• Who’s the Dummy?

So Hubby has been home since school ended, and we love it! He’s not working Summer School so he has been with us all day long, and we love it! So the babies had so much attention from him these days especially Matthew who trails his Daddy all the time. They do a lot together. He has gotten used to calling out “Daddy” that whenever he means calling ME out, he ends us calling me “Dummy”. Well actually, it more like “Daaaa-mmy”!

ON BABY MARK …

• Babies grow up too fast …

We have recently visited Baby Mark’s Pediatrician for his very late 2nd Month Well Baby Appointment. He is now 13 lbs and 24 inches long. Just a few days more and he will be 3-months old but he can’t wear anymore most of his 0-3 months baby cloths.

• Wanted: Someone to talk to …

Baby Mark coos so loudly in the mornings, laughing and just baby-talking, that I can’t help but get up and check him out at the crib. He’s always just fine, but just needs someone to talk to him …

• Hand and Eye Coordination

He is exploring his hands and fingers these days, I mean trying to join his hands together, looking at them, that makes his eyes cross. It always looks so funny … I should take a photo when he does this .

• Baby + Needles = Sad Mommy

He is almost always a happy baby! The only time he was particularly fuzzy and irritable was the day he got his 2nd-month shots! (Immunization) I hate to see my baby and needles together.

THE ROAD TRIP

Our road trip to and from Delaware was easier than anticipated. I anticipated a troublesome road trip. After all, we have a restless toddler and a baby on board. But they actually made our trips more interesting and amusing. We’ve learned that Baby Mark can cry for 10 minutes straight and then falls asleep; and that Matthew can now hold his urge to go potty(pee) but never fails to remind us every 30 seconds.

The road trip between Alabama and Delaware is about 15-16 hours but we made it about 36 hours. We took our time, stopped every 3-4 hours for breastfeeding and snacks and meals, and we stopped for the night wherever we were.

By the Pool

IN DELAWARE …

It was sort-of a family reunion on hubby’s side. His niece Amber graduated high school and we were there for her graduation party along with my in-laws.

Baby Mark had so much attention towards him too. Everyone seems to marvel at his cuteness, that they seems to genuinely like taking care of him. And Baby Mark don’t seem to mind as well. He is always a happy baby and enjoys all the attention he gets. While, Matthew got all the playtime he wants – riding at lawn mower, running around the pool,… he was just all over. Hubby and I enjoyed the week-long party, lounging in my sister-in-law’s place and hanging by the pool. And we enjoyed everyone’s company and help with Baby Mark and Matthew.It was definitely a nice vacation.

Day by day, I am bombarded with my new reality, that now – I am a mom of 2 boys! I can’t complain for my life is good. It’s just that … when I was young and dreaming of how my life could be, sure I dreamt of being married to a loving husband, but I just never really imagined to be a mom, much less a mom of 2 boys,.. that sometimes this reality is hard to believe.

With my boys, Matthew (3) and Baby Mark (almost 3 weeks), Photo taken 28 April 2010

Reality 1: Overwhelming Blues

It is hard enough to find nice clothes for boys, while the pink dresses are plentiful in wider aisles. But when you can actually find nice clothes for boys, why do they always have to be blue.

Reality 2: Boy Toys Overload

Car toys, robots, tractors, action figures, Hot wheels, … need I say more!

Reality 3: Boys are messy

Ever since Matthew was potty trained, I’ve taught him over and over to lift up the toilet seat when he goes. When he forgets, and I forget that he just recently used the bathroom when I use the bathroom, guess what I will be sitting on. Grrr! I know… I have to check each time… or I better get me my own bathroom!

And while diaper changing Baby Mark, I have to remind myself to cover him up. Little boys have the ability to spray it all over. I have to catch the wetness a lot of times just so not to get it all over… me.

I look forward to all the fun we are going to have. I look forward to confirming that raising boys in the long run is easier than raising girls … a lot more fun and less drama.

I love my boys!

I have been warned that when you bring home a new baby, the older child especially babies themselves will regress, change personality and feel jealous. But nobody warned me that when all these are happening, it would be emotionally crushing and heartbreaking for me.

Matthew is 3 years old. For that long time, he has been the star of our lives and the center of our attention. We did different stuffs to prepare him for the coming of his new baby brother like mentioning about baby brother everyday, and all that. But I don’t think there is preparation enough for him not to feel jealous, when I tell him “Not now,..” or “Later, … ” when I am attending to his baby brother Mark.

Brothers with Mommy

The first day was great! He was excited and mesmerized by the baby. He would show off the baby to everyone but the following days were very difficult for me, especially during that time when the baby needed extra care and attention .

Matthew basically went from being talkative, energetic and happy to being quietly-crying-in-the-corner type. It was so heartbreaking to see that change in him.

Bedtime is specifically difficult for me as we have a “lay down with mommy ” routine, when he lays down on my arms and dozes of to Lulalula (Lullabye) Music. At one time, as we were in laying down in bed, Baby Mark started crying. He knows I have to get up and pick up the baby, but he clutched on to my arms, wouldn’t let me go and just whispering “No. No.” That was really crushing, like I have to choose between the two of them, when he doesn’t understand yet, and the baby has immediate needs. I diverted his attention by asking him if he wanted some milk, and he said he wanted juice. My mother-in-law attended to him, giving him juice, while I attended the baby.

Or in the middle of the night, Matthew would wake up to me nursing the baby. He would bury his face in the pillow and just start crying, when usually he’d snuggle to me. To see him cry like that is really heartbreaking.

Brothers, Matthew (3) and Baby Mark (2-weeks)

But hubby and I must be doing well right now in making Matthew warm up to his baby brother again, since he HAS started to warm up to him again. With lots of coaching encouragement, we tell him to talk to the baby when he’s crying or let him help out with the diaper changing. Or with some luck, when the baby is already asleep, I make sure that we have our bedtime routine back.

I found that diverting his attention to activities he always loves doing like watching cartoons, playing with Legos, or getting more Daddy time helps. Also, getting him included and involved with what I do with the baby, although it’s tricky, has helped us both! It gives him extra time with the baby. Makes him understand better and adjust easier to our new life.

Day 1. Saturday

Baby screenings and circumcision. All went well!

I amazed myself by being able to walk around at Day 1 after labor and delivery, but then, I was drugged with hospital grade painkillers.

Day 2. Sunday

More baby screenings! Everything seems to be doing well with Baby Mark, as he was brought in and out of the nursery and my postpartum room.

Still under the ‘magic’ of painkillers, since early that morning I have showered and got dressed anxiously awaiting to be discharged. But by hospital policy, the baby has to be observed for 48 hours.

Hubby picked up Matthew from friends, who happily babysat for Matthew, for him to meet his baby brother Mark for the first time. It’s amazing to see Matthew mesmerized and just excited. He always wanted to show off his baby brother.

Later that day, we were discharged from the hospital and so happy to be home.

I am so happy to home! Thanks to hubby, we came home to a clean and well-arranged house. My heart just swells for him.

Day 3. Monday

I haven’t picked up my prescription yet and somehow because of my several plight up and down the stairs, I woke up so sore! I felt so sore in my chest from breastfeeding, and my pelvic area was still contracting, that I felt I needed another round of epidural just to get up. I’ve learned to take it easy since then.

At that time, we were bragging to friends and family that we have a good baby. Baby Mark slept through the night on his first night at home and he slept 7-8 hours earlier that day. Little did we know that he was already showing signs of lethargy – being too weak to wake up even for feeding.

Day 4. Tuesday

We have tried to set up an appointment to a pediatrician for Baby Mark’s Day-4 Check-up. We tried getting an appointment at Matthew’s pediatrician but he doesn’t see newborns. Mainly due to lack of know-who-and-where, we were about to blow off going to the doctor but it was suggested to bring him to Maxwell Air Force Base Pediatric Clinic. It was a long drive but it has walk-in hours, no need to set up an appointment.

We got there late that day, at about 2 pm. I was too sore to get up early.

At the clinic, Baby Mark’s blood was drawn for testing and vital stats were taken. He lost a few more ounces. We were meeting up with the Pediatric Nurse when we all found out his Bilirubin levels jumped 11 levels up! The Pediatric Nurse acted so concerned. She called the doctor.

Jaundice is a condition that makes a newborn’s skin and the white part of the eyes look yellow. It happens because there is too much bilirubin in the baby’s blood (hyperbilirubinemia). Bilirubin is a substance that is made when the body breaks down old red blood cells.

Jaundice usually is not a problem. But in rare cases, too much bilirubin in the blood can cause brain damage (kernicterus). This can lead to hearing loss, mental retardation, and behavior problems. [Read more about Jaundice in Newborn in WebMD]

Baby Mark under Photo Therapy

Later on, Baby Mark was admitted for Home Care for Photo therapy. He had Jaundice. I felt so bad. I didn’t even notice the yellow spots on his belly, which is one of the symptoms of jaundice aside from lethargy.

We thank Kristine, Spenser and Keshaun, for giving us the comfort of their home. They let us stay in their home during the duration of the therapy. We couldn’t go home for the baby’s therapy because the hospital who admitted the baby for home care can only go so far.

We were so unprepared for this that we didn’t even have toothbrushes for this stay-over.

Day 5. Wednesday

Hubby planned to come back to work that day but he can’t. Thank God, the people he works with and for understood, … well if they didn’t, oh well!

Baby Mark was strapped to the Photo Therapy machine. It’s constricting and must be very uncomfortable. I struggled to breastfeed him on a 2-3 hours interval.

His blood was drawn and we waited for the results. It’s the waiting that kills when there’s nothing else to do. His levels this time was at all time high, jumped 2 more levels up. He wasn’t going to be discharged just yet.

Also, he lost another few more ounces.

Day 6. Thursday

It’s Day 2 for the photo therapy. At this time, I was getting worried that he might not be getting enough milk from breastfeeding. We got a breast-pump, and since then, he was breastfed and bottle-fed with breast milk, just so I can see his actual milk intake.

Later that day, his blood was drawn again. Poor baby at his 6th day, he had 6 cuts on his heel to draw blood from. His Bilirubin level went down, but the nurse didn’t discharge him just yet. He was taken off the photo therapy machine but it was to be made sure that his level were going down on his own. So, he needs to be checked again the following day.

Day 7. Friday

Still worried and this time so anxious!

I brought him outside early that morning for some sunlight to his skin. We waited. Then the nurse came by to draw his blood for testing. And he was weighted. He gained back his lost ounces. And we waited again for the results.

At this time we are hoping that all the toxic Bilirubin are off his system on his own. Of course, I was still making sure he is well fed.

We got the numbers and his Bilirubin level was confirmed to be going down. He was discharged.

We headed back home in the afternoon.

Baby Mark is doing much better. Feeding well and may I say, pooping well! He’s looking much better, getting some color aside from yellow . He’s acting like a baby should – feeding, peeing, pooping, sleeping and waking up every 2 or so hours.

If I had written this earlier, there will be more emotions involved for it was a long trying, exhausting week! Also, while all this was going on with the baby, we have a toddler who is having a hard time adjusting to our divided attention …

Again, I’ve felt that being a parent is so difficult and so humbling! Feeling ordinary and helpless, asking for help and receiving favors. But we are so blessed to have family and friends who care.

To Lori and Ed, Rachel and Kimberly too, Thank you for taking care of Matthew; and for all the fun he had while he was with you.

To Kristine, Spenser and Keshaun, Thanks for opening your doors to us! For the 3 days we stayed in your home, I wonder what you will miss or not miss – the bothersome toddler or the crying baby?

To the people who hubby works with and for, Thank your for your concern! Most especially, thank you for your patience, understanding and consideration.

To my in-laws, Mom and Dad, Thank you! Your visit gave us an easier transition!

To Mama, How I wish you were here.

To Everyone who prayed for Baby Mark and our family, Thank you!

38 weeks and 6 days, just a few days shy away from his due date, Mark Anthony was born 7 lbs 15 oz 19.5 in on April 9, 2010 at 6:06 p.m. at Montgomery, Alabama.

We have been doing great, me and the baby. We hope to be discharged from the hospital tomorrow. Hubby has been so thoughtful and wonderful as he has always been! Matthew is having fun with my friend Lori while all the action was going on, but tomorrow he will meet his baby brother for the first time.

For the first time, hubby and I organized a mini Easter Egg Hunt for Matthew. I helped Matthew with decorating the Easter eggs, and then hubby hid them for Matthew’s hunt. Decorating the Easter Eggs

Decorating Easter Eggs

Decorating the Easter Eggs

In decorating the Easter eggs, Matthew s favorite is putting on the stickers.

Matthew and the Easter Eggs

Easter Egg Hunting

Easter Egg Hunting. Daddy leading Matthew to where he hid the Easter eggs.	Easter Egg Hunting
Easter Egg Hunting	Easter Egg Hunting

The Easter Egg Harvest

Matthew and Mommy Matthew and Daddy

Matthew, What a Great Easter Egg Hunt!

The Spoils of Easter

Matthew and Daddy, with the Spoils of Easter	Matthew and Mommy, with the Spoils of Easter
Matthew with the Spoils of Easter	Easter Basket from Grandma and Grandpa

I hope you all had a great Easter Sunday; and have celebrated the true meaning of Easter, the miracle of the resurrection of Jesus Christ!

This continues Matthew’s Baby birth story. Read the first part, A Baby Story, Part 1.

So I was under epidural, smiling again but my mother who was there with me in the room was looking all sick and pale after she’s seen the epidural procedure – when my spinal was stuck by a very big needle. I told hubby to watch out on her ’cause I was basically fine already, but she assured me that she’s fine and she just needed to sit for awhile.

So the time for active labor, the time to push, was nearing in when I saw the nurses and the doctor getting busy walking around. All the monitors are also telling us that it was time. I was brought to the position and the coach (nurse) was telling me when to hold my breath for 10 seconds and push as hard as I could like I was doing the biggest bowel movement in my life – her exact words!

But, after 2 hours or so of no success, I was starting to doubt if I was doing it right! I doubted if I was pushing right! The nurse kept telling me not to put force on my feet and all that… but I really couldn’t tell if I was doing it right. I kept asking my mother, who positioned herself on my head area, if I was doing it right, but she’s just told me to just listen to what the nurse is saying.

And hubby just couldn’t stay put. His big teasing smiling face was all over, like he keeps hopping all around the room. While my mother couldn’t move her feet from where she was.

Since I was under epidural, I wasn’t feeling a thing. I wasn’t feeling the contractions, so I thought I wasn’t pushing right because I wasn’t feeling a thing and couldn’t synchronize my ‘pushing’ with the contractions. So I asked them that maybe if we lessen the dosage of the epidural enough to feel the contractions just a little bit, enough to help me with active labor. So they did!

Oh my God, with half dosage of epidural, I started to feel the contractions again, and I was in pain again! But I didn’t want to stop the labor anymore and just get on with it. At that time, I was in serious business, yelling, screaming and cussing with every push! Around my English speaking husband and doctor, my mother scolded me in Tagalog, our dialect, for being too noisy. I remember talking back – ‘Masakit! ‘ (It’s painful!).

I basically have a smooth sailing pregnancy in terms of pain before all that. I didn’t experience morning sickness and there wasn’t any memorable pains during the pregnancy. So I didn’t expect the pain of labor would be that bad!

Then my look was locked on hubby as he was looking down there, and he looked back at me and said ‘Push, don’t stop, the baby is almost out!’. Just then, I felt like big bowling balls chained together being pulled out of me! That was the most painful physical feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. Then I saw baby Matthew. Hubby cut the cord and both of them went to the other side of the room where the baby was being checked and bathe. I was weak with exhaustion, but I managed to keep asking hubby if the baby was alright, and he assured me that the baby is alright taking a bath.

Matthew Alexander, Born 7 pounds 9 ounces 49 cms long on August 14, 2006 at 10:42 p.m. at Yokota Airbase Hospital, Japan

At 10:42 p.m., after almost a whole day of labor, Matthew was born 7 pounds 9 ounces 49 cms long.

Matthew and Mommy

Matthew and Daddy

Matthew and Grandma

Later on, I found out that I had 2 cuts (episiotomy) and that Vacuum Extractor was used to help pull the baby out. And that after the delivery, while the baby was being taken cared for, I was being stitched. Hubby mentioned that when the baby came out, his little head was funny looking cone shape (that is because of the Vacuum Extractor).

I couldn’t described how I felt when finally the baby was given to me to be held. He was so tiny, wrapped around by garments with his little face showing and his eyes were swollen. He’s so perfect. And then he started to cry, and I panicked. I didn’t know what to do with my own crying baby. I looked at my mother to somehow get a clue as to what to do. My mother just laughed at me, and then I started to feel delighted by the baby cry. Oh my God, it’s just indescribable. The first kiss Matthew got, hubby beat me to it! We took turns taking photos with him.

It was pass 2:00 a.m., when we finally settled in. We transferred to the recovery room, and I was encouraged to walk but I passed out. I think I passed out ’cause I have no recollection as to how exactly we were able to transfer to the recovery room. I woke up the next day, painful all over but delighted by the sight of my baby in the bassinet in the same room with me.

It took us 2 year of trying so hard to conceive him… well, I did – tried so hard to conceive him and hubby was just happy to comply. Matthew will be 4-years old in a few months. He’s an active little man, couldn’t stay put, always smiling, loves to learn, and so ready to be a big brother. We are so proud of him!

Matthew at 3.5-Years Old

My father was born March 10, 1949. If he lived, he’d be 61-years old, retired from the Philippine Army, a grandpa, and cooking his favorite Papaitan as pulutan (appetizer) for his birthday drinking party. He died prematurely in 1991 at the age of 41 on my mother’s birthday and their wedding anniversary. When he left us, my mother was in her early 30′s. I was 13-years old then, my sister was 11-years old, and my bother JC was a 9-month old baby. He was ‘Papang‘ to us, and ‘Papa Charlie‘ to everyone else.

I have once written about the day my father died. Today on his birthday, my sister, Jessica, writes about how he lived.

My Father on his early 20's

Pang

by Jessica

I may have several men in my life, but few that stayed in my heart even when they were gone. It’s my father’s birthday today, and although he passed away a long time ago, his memories linger in the present.

My father was a simple man. Simple but firm. He left us with too many good memories that even with my young age, i already treasured. My father was one of the few good men I have known in my life. Not even once have I experience any verbal nor physical abuse from him. He might have been a tough soldier back then, but when it comes to his family, he was so gentle and protective. He was very proud of me and my sister. I remember when he and his friends were drinking, he would let me sing in front of his friends and tell them how good my voice was(hehe, this is the reason why i always believed i have a beautiful voice even if nobody agrees). I always sang “The Greatest Love of All”. I memorized it. My father was very good in drawing and math. He always took the time to sit with us and teach us everything he knows and helped us in our assignments. My father, just like my mother is very good in advicing us in how we should see life. He would tell us that we should respect other people so other people will respect us too. He was also keen on discipline. Every morning at 7, he would jog just to make sure he stays fit. Every sunday, we go to mass and visit “Fort Pilar” (a place in Zamboanga for Catholics to worship Virgin Mary). When we go to this place, he made sure that he gave coins to the beggars lined up inside the worship place.

My Father on his early 20's

If there was one legacy that my father left with us, it was his thoughs in education. We were poor. My father was a soldier. My mother was a housewife. Although this was the case, my father sent us to the best school there was in our place. He always told us that we might be poor and he might not have any material thing that he can leave us when he dies, but he would be able to leave us the best education and we can carry that even to our grave.

When he died I was 11, my sister 13 and my brother just a few months old, I had that legacy engraved in my heart. I am thankful for the wisdom he left us. My sister and I were scholars in high school and college. We maybe struggling then, but because of hard work and my father’s legacy and my mother’s fighting spirit(which I am also thankful for), we were able to graduate with flying colors. My sister worked as a programmer for a while and now married and happy. I, after a couple of years of trying to find a job that will suit me, is for now content working in a TeleComs company. My brother is already in college and hopefully he would also find what he really wants in life.

To my father, although we have not spent too many years together, I still feel your presence. I will not be who I am today if not for the things that you have taught us. They may not be material things. They are greater! And no one can take those away from us. It is in my heart and in my soul. I love you Pang!

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