I knew we are leaving Japan soon, but a few days ago, when dear hubby told me the date of our flight to the United States, my heart just sank! I felt so heavy in my heart. Somehow, the date of the flight made it more real to me that we are leaving Japan soon.
Dear Hubby is retiring from the military and since he hasn’t found a civilian job in Japan, we can’t stay in Japan after he retires. So, we are off to the United States on the first week of June, a month from now.
Our papers are ready. I’m not US citizen. There were so many procedures I went through to be able to enter United States. But a few weeks back I received my visa to the States. I even got excited over that.
Right now, the first things I have to take care of are our stuffs and on making a quick inventory. The movers are coming to pack the stuffs. I have started sorting out some clothes and shoes. I still have a few cabinets and drawers to go through. There are some cleaning up that needs to be done. We have to leave the apartment unit inspection clear . But we have the right tools. This shouldn’t be a problem if I don’t get lazy. Souvenirs are bought. It’s nice to bring something from this place to take wherever we are going. We bought a few more as gifts for relatives, too.
I think we are set. Except, my heart is still heavy over leaving Japan. I have anxiety and this has kept me depressed these days.
No matter how old I’ll get, Philippines will always be my home. However since I came to Japan, it has become my home away from home. When I first left Philippines for Japan on June 21, 2000, I wasn’t anxious or depressed. I always thought that Philippines is only 4-hours away. I can always go back whenever I want to. And then my life in Japan turned out better than I have ever imagined. Life is good here and very convenient. I gained very few but good friends, and the people are really nice to me. I met my man, married him and had our baby here. I can almost say I became an adult in Japan.
I’m sure with the help of my dear hubby, we will make wherever we are going our home together. Wherever it is, we will make memories and make it our children’s home where they can grow up, have friends and feel safe. And I know that United States is a great country where we can we can do all that. But that it’s being at the other side of the globe and the 16-hour travel miles from the Philippines is really stressing me! I will be farther away from the Philippines. This really makes me feel so sad.
I am not exactly sure how to end this post other than – Although the negative feelings over the positives are overwhelming me, I still have high hopes that our transition will be manageable especially for me. It was just easier to hope before when everything was still abstract. Anyway, I know I will adapt in the United States and eventually I will be happy being there with my supportive husband guiding me through and my son’s smile always brightening my days.
Friends in Japan and Epson Connection, you know who you are! I’d really like to get together with you before we leave. If you are up for it and not too busy, let me know.