When Frustration Got the Best of Me
I just wanted to wash him a little bit, brush his teeth and get him ready for bed. It was a really long day of chasing Matthew with no nap time. I was feeling crappy, haven’t showered for days, my hips were hurting and my head was heavy with stuffy nose. And all he still wanted to do was to jump and down the bed, run around and make me chase him. He is in his most playful mood. While I wasn’t in the chasing mood!
I used my scariest voice, scariest face and even spanking him just to get him to settle down and listen and just do what I want – which was to get in the bathroom, stand still at the tub so I can wash him. But nothing I did worked. I was really frustrated. It seemed that he is even enjoying my frustration as part of his game, as he made me chase him again. He laughed everytime I wouldn’t catch him.
As I have managed to get a hold of him, literally dragging him to the bathroom, I was out of breath by his struggling to get off my tight hold. I was able to wash him but not too easily. The next task was to brush his teeth, but as soon as he was able to get off the tub, he ran off like he was happy to have escaped. He ran off towards the door and started slamming the door.
I just heard a ringing in my head at the slamming of the door. I told him to stop but he continued to do so. I was afraid he was going to place his other hand at the slamming door like he did earlier that day, so as soon as the door closed I locked the door. I was inside the bathroom by myself, while he was outside, yelling out ‘Mommy!’
I didn’t open the door. I was pacing myself, just hiding inside the bathroom. I was just so tired, that I started crying. I heard hubby’s voice from the outside then he opened the door. Somehow, him seeing me crying like that made my feel even worse, that I cried even more. I just wanted to brush his teeth and him ready for bed, so when he’s fallen asleep I can take a shower and hopefully feel better, but Matthew wasn’t cooperating and i was feeling really frustrated.
The rest of the night was easier with hubby’s presence but I couldn’t help my tears from falling down as I was brushing his teeth and putting his jammies on, while his lips were curled down like he was about to cry but preventing himself to cry. To his innocent mind he was only playing and having fun, but at that time, my poor baby was scared and absorbing my negative feelings.
Then hubby took him to his office, made him sit in the corner and not letting him play for slamming the door and not listening to mommy. I brought him his milk, then he dozed off while drinking his milk. Then he was off to bed, finally.
This happened a week ago. I was definitely not at my best as a mother. Frustration got the best of me. I had to cry.
7 Responses to “When Frustration Got the Best of Me”
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Don’t belittle your mothering skills just because of one episode that didn’t go right like you wanted it to. As far as I know you before and how I see you now, I say you are doing good as a mom. And that honestly? I didn’t think you’d easily handle things like diapers, being a stay at home mom, chasing toddlers, washing off dirt from toddler face, etc. So I commend you!
I’ve had those kind of episodes (crying) too before and one thing someone like me who has been on that road before can tell you is that: “It gets better”. Hang on and ask support from your hubby. You need him now more than ever, especially with another baby (BOY…gasp!) coming your way.
- Grace @ Sandier Pastures February 1, 2010 at 11:25 amThis was a good test of what’s to come. He will learn to respect you in time… he’s in his own little play world most of the time so for him to learn that you aren’t involved in playtime all the time is going to be a huge bite of reality once it actually sets in. I have one suggestion, & it STINKS to have to do this. If there’s a gate that will hold him in! Get one for each room so you have to go thru each room’s gate every time which is a pain but it will teach him to slow down. The punishment for going over the top is time out, a session of sitting in the corner for 3 to 5 minutes, or just spank when necessary. My kids grew up on spanks! lol I know not everyone approves! (stop rolling your eyes peoples) lol but I’ve seen Matthew! he needs to slow down… I do think spanking isn’t going to work for every offence though, because it’s so young too & SO on the go! You’d be losing effectiveness if you overuse the spanking. Michael may have to take more time to put his two cents in…. It’s going to be a challenge for you & I think you have to be prepared for that once baby arrives. Don’t kill yourself over it. We all question our parenting methods at various times in our lives. Heck! My sons are all grown I STILL have the occasional walk down memory lane where I’m thinking hmmmm was I too strict? Did I yell to omuch? but I had to do what I did at the time…. you learn as you go & hope you have a good balance between the times you have to be stern & strict vs times you show love & affection. You are a great mom & you do show so much love towards him! I’m sort of GLAD to hear you posting this blog this time because you’re usually SOOOO happy & have such a great outlook on life I find myself thinking WOW. one of these days the bubble’s gonna burst there!!! NOBODY can be THAT HAPPY ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!!! lol It’s good you have normal ~ YES NORMAL!!!! reactions like all moms do! So again don’t beat yourself up ok! You’ll have many days good bad… don’t fret the little stuff
I think you locking yourself IN the bathroom is great. You have yourself the time to separate from the situation, catch a breath… at least you are level headed enough to do THAT instead of taking rage out on him… I say Kudos girl! You did good!!! THanks for hubby showing up though ~ making him realize you aren’t super mom isn’t such a bad thing ya know. WE ALL need help now & then!!!! hugs hope tomorrow’s a better day! sorry for my NOVEL length post lol Hugs! 
- Lori Tierney February 1, 2010 at 9:06 pmhi momi charm
i may not truly understand the frustration you felt the other week but i feel for your sadness and frustration that time. you were just tired and it was not your fault. you’re a mom but you have limits too and it’s all normal.
- ellecul February 1, 2010 at 9:09 pmalways remember that to matthew (and to little brother on the way *woot* *woot*), you will always be the best mom ever =)
I have to come back and post what we do/did to slow Pristine down. Not that she was fast and furious like how boys behave..but the typical things overactive toddlers do (like how Matthew is described by your friend Lori).
It is difficult to scold/reprimand when there are distracting things around, a TV, a radio, toys or other people around, etc…what Maki does is this: He takes Pristine to one silent room where they talk face to face. Pristine has to look into his eyes (Maki never yells and has a lot of patience with this kind of toddler chit chats). It really helps than yelling or spanking.
Instead of sending children to corners, we take the child to another room and talk, discuss what happened, what could have been right, etc. It worked for us. Pristine understood without resentment and we are happy we don’t have to spank.
Good luck. I know boys are tougher to handle than girls but God knows you can do it so he’s giving you boys. God knows I don’t have buckets of patience with me so I’m stuck to having one, and it’s a girl.
- Grace @ Sandier Pastures February 3, 2010 at 6:39 amI can’t imagine having to deal with this kind of problem. I just think that I’ll figure it out when I get there. Right now I’m just lucky to think about myself and a few other things. But in anything we do, I think it’s OK to cry sometimes.
- peenkfrik February 5, 2010 at 10:09 amFrom watching my nephew, I know that boys are much harder to raise than girls for the most part. But Emma still has those days when she doesn’t want to listen, she just wants to play. Those days are hard! But the thing is to not give up, else he will never learn.
And don’t feel bad about crying! I’ve been there, crying out of frustration. Being a mom is hard work!!
- Jacki February 11, 2010 at 9:49 ami feel for you sis…. a bad day is okay
- jessica February 21, 2010 at 11:46 pm